Tips in Finding Licensed Vocational Nursing Schools

Two of Sarah’s favorite subjects in secondary school were biology and chemistry. This teenager enjoyed the complexities of the human body similar to how a computer operates.

The guidance counselor in school noticed the high scores in the field of science. After talking with Sarah, it wasn’t hard to see that this person will become a nurse after graduation.

There are not that many universities that offer nursing as a degree. This made Sarah decide to enroll in a licensed vocation nursing school instead that can be finished in two years making this person earn money while others are still toiling in the classroom.

Months before graduation, Sarah already did some research on the web. This will give the woman time to check which vocational schools are the best ones around. After typing in “nursing schools” in the search engine, a number of these institutions came out and it was time to get more information.

Most of the licensed vocational nursing schools will want the person to fill in the application form. This will also ask which location where the individual would like to study in and what specialization. Since Sarah did not know yet anything about nursing, it is best to go for the first, which is the certified nurses’ assistant.

People who start a career in nursing and start out, as an assistant will report to a head nurse. This person will learn how to give emotional and physical support to the patient.

Bryman College located in Anaheim, California is one of the schools that offer training to students both in the classroom and hands on. This institution calls the program the Vocational Nursing Certificate or LVN that can be finished in 18 to 24 months.

Another school is the Careers Networks Institute located in Costa Mesa, which is part of Orange County also in California. Those who graduate can work as a nursing assistant or choose to another course to further go up the corporate ladder.

Western Career College located in Sacramento is another institution that offers vocational nursing. People who pass the course and the licensing exam can then work as a nurse in any hospital or clinic in the country. Though some states require another licensing exam, this will already be easy once the student has some experience dealing with patients.

The institutions mentioned are just some of more than 30 other institutions scattered all around the United States. The person should check the nearest campus or move there in order to be come a certified professional from a licensed vocational nursing school.

Car Paint Protection – How to Find the Best Paint Protection System For Your Car

Car Paint Protection - How to Find the Best Paint Protection System For Your Car

You’ve been driving around in that old clunker your dad gave you when you went off to college for years and now you can finally afford a new car. You’ve finished college, started your new career and worked your way up the ladder enough to finally get the salary you deserve. You’ve had your eye on a particular model and you happily go off to the dealership to buy one. While you are there, the dealer may offer to sell you a paint protection system that is designed to keep the paint on your car looking new. After driving an old car that saw a new paint job over a decade ago, you want to do everything to maintain that beautiful look and what the dealer is saying may sound quite enticing. Beware, because what sounds too good to be true usually is.

Dealers get paid a substantial profit by selling you expensive car paint protection systems. How much they charge you will depend on how much they feel they can get out of you. Don’t forget that these salespeople know all about your finances from your application and credit report. They know how much you make, how much you pay in housing and how much credit debt you have. This gives them a general idea of how much you can afford to pay. They may offer a debt laden person the system for $500 dollars and offer it to a person who has a lower amount of debt for $1500.00. Either way they are making a super profit and they do it under the guise of doing you a favor.

Admittedly, car paint protection is essential to any new car. Car paint can be damaged by the sun, hail, and dirt that are blown on a car. Wax can certainly keep a car shiny but can also allow dirt particles to stick to it. This means that when you go to wipe it down, the dirt or sand can actually cause damage to the paint job, since wiping the car will grind them into the paint.

The sun will also fade paint over time and if you live near the ocean, salt water will also harm the finish. This is why it’s important to get a good car paint protection system. Just don’t get it from a dealer. Part of the warranty may include having to bring the car in every 2 months to have the protection renewed. If you don’t come in, then the warranty will be voided and you’ve lost the money that you invested in the system.

There are plenty of quality paint protection systems on the market that you can purchase for a fraction of the cost that the dealers offer them for and you can apply and maintain them yourself. Visit your auto supply store or go online to research and find the best one for you.

Top 10 Most Underrated Things In Sports

Here is your third installment of a new column called ‘Top 10 Things In Sports’, a new weekly thing that I will do. Here is your list of the Top 10 things in sports that we think are way underrated and want more people to pay attention to.

#10 Arena Football

I am definitely not arguing that Arena Football should become as mainstream as the No Fun League and college football, but it’s still a good substitute in the spring and a fun sport to watch. There is tons of scoring and it’s very easy to understand, other than a few strange rules.

#9 Minor League Baseball

If you are a Red Sox or Yankee fan than you have permission to skip this one, but not all you fans of the twenty MLB teams that alway suck. Sometimes it is good to get away from your lousy Kansas City Royals and go watch some good baseball. Minor League baseball games are cheap and usually pretty entertaining; maybe you’ll even see a future MLB superstar, or you know, Roger Clemens.

#8 The Winter Olympics

From what I have looked at, the difference in television ratings between the winter and summer olympics is kind of staggering. The 2004 Summer Olympics in Athens, Greece reached over 3.9 billion people while the 2006 Winter Olympics in Torino, Italy reached a measly 200,000. Even if that first number is a little high and the second, a little low, that is still quite a big hole in between them. During the 2010 Winter Games at least check out curling in the middle of the day; it’s kind of like icy shuffleboard without the old people smell.

#7 ESPN’s Feel Good Stories

I know it may seem cheesy, but sometimes it’s good to read something outside of the world of competitive sports. E-Ticket, an ESPN weekly feature, features stories about different people around the sports world and most of the stories are very creative and fresh. One of my favorite’s features the journey of a North Alaskan high school football team.

#6 Outside of America – Every Sport Other Than Soccer

I only know a few people outside of the United States, but from what I have talked to them about soccer, it really is the phenomenon that everyone thinks it is. If you are a big sports fan in the U.S. than just take a second to think about how much time you spend either playing sports or watching sports in a week; chances are that time is divided between more than one sport. The rest of the world loves sports too, but the difference is that they spend all of that same time on one sport, soccer. It’s encouraging to see the NFL, MLB, and NBA go international and hopefully that will continue.

#5 Falling Asleep To Golf

Don’t get me wrong, golf is great game, but if you are ever looking for a Sunday nap just turn some golf on TV. Golf is a great bonding thing for father and sons to do, but you also have to admit that it’s not the most exciting thing to watch either. If you are feeling a little pekid next Sunday take a nap with some golf. It’ll do the body good.

#4 Fantasy Sports

To outsiders fantasy sports seem nerdy and pointless, but I really think that case can be made for just about anything in life. If you are a big sports buff, and never been in a fantasy sports league, the least you can do is try it out. Pick your favorite sport and if you really put some work into your team it will open up an entirely different side of sports to you.

#3 Crowd Brawls

When I think of crowd brawls the first thing that comes to mind is the infamous ‘Malice in the Palace’ involving Ron Artest, the Indiana Pacers, and the Detroit Pistons. Personally, I think as long as no one dies or gets seriously injured, they are pretty funny. The fact that athletes like Artest, who are getting paid millions of dollars, can’t keep their cool when fans are talking shit about their momma is a pretty curious thing. And the face of the fan who is about to get pummeled by a completely-built athlete, that’s pretty funny too.

#2 X Games

I would hardly consider myself a skater or a punk, but many people associate the X Games with those two terms. Let me just tell you, if you fall into that category than you are definitely missing out. Some of the stuff those guys like Shaun White throw down is just amazing and seems to defy gravity. When I go through my mid-life crisis I am going to make sure to try out for the X Games; or at least ride a dirt-bike or something.

#1 Rushing The Court/Field

People don’t realize it, but when they are watching a college basketball game like Kansas State play #1 Kansas at Kansas State, they just want to see the crowd rush the court at the end of the game. A college team can completely suck, but if they pull off an amazing upset at home and the crowd gets to rush the basketball court or football field than the season is suddenly a success. Or at least should be cause of the awesomeness of it. Which is why I think rushing the court and rushing the field should be introduced in pro sports. How awesome would that be? I’ll tell you, it’d be like being in college for life.

Most of what I submit to this website can be found at my blog


Photography Camps – This Summer Learn More With Every Click

The advent of digital cameras and high definition has made photography one of the most sought after professions and also a very commonly pursued hobby among youngsters. Cameras are everywhere – on our computers, mobiles and several other digital equipments. People are growing so fond of taking pictures that not a single special moment goes unpreserved.

If your child, too, is one of those people who never like to leave home without their digital cameras, the best thing you can do to nourish the budding photographer in them is to encourage them to take up photography lessons. It would ensure that their summer is well spent as they’d learn new skills and have lots of fun too in the camp with fellow students. Imagine the bliss you’ll experience when your kid takes an excellent picture of yours with the touch of a professional photographer!

Why choose a summer photography camp?

To achieve dexterity in photography, there are specialized courses that aim at imparting the necessary skills of photography in you, but then, these traditional classes are mostly not designed keeping kids and teenagers in mind. On the contrary, a summer photography camp is tailor-made for your teen as it is meant especially for children looking for fun with knowledge during their long summer vacations. Today’s comprehensively designed summer camps also take care of your child’s other needs like meals and even overnight stays during the camp. Also, the fellow campers would be almost the same age as your child; this in a way creates an environment conducive to better learning, while ensuring that kids are not bored during the sessions.

As summer camps are especially designed keeping young kids and teenagers in mind these impart learning from the scratch. So you don’t need to worry about your child being new to advanced technological stuff. A good photography camp, such as one designed by iD Tech, will guide your child step by step, gradually making him/her proficient in the skill.

How to choose the right summer camp for your child?

The two most fundamental aspects of a good summer photography camps are -

1. Knowledge of latest gadgets - Good summer camps for kids and teens employ the best possible means to teach students. For instance iD Tech summer photography camps are designed keeping the best interest of students in mind. It uses the latest equipment so that the kids are up-to-date with the latest technology. The camera tricks taught in the photography camps are simple to grasp and offer splendid results when executed.

2. A secure yet fun-filled environment - Make sure that your chosen summer camp keeps children’s safety is kept in mind. It incorporates fun-learning methods so that your child’s vacations are spent jolly well.

Encourage your child for photography camp this summer

Give your teen an opportunity to explore more this summer by making them join a summer camp on photography. Even if it does not make him a professional photographer, it will make sure that each and every one of your family photos turns out to be incredibly great. Besides, pursuing the hobby passionately will make your child a confident individual. So get set, it’s time this summer you gave a photography camp a thumb’s up.

Jimmy Sorensen writes reviews of world famous summer camps. Some of his works speaks about the most happening photography camp around the world. He also loves to write on topics like video game design, programming languages, summer camp ideas and much more.

Make Your Wireless Broadband Secure

Make Your Wireless Broadband Secure

Once you have your wireless broadband connection setup correctly you should make it secure. A broadband wireless network may not be affected by solid items and remove the need for wires, but it is affected by others who are in the know. So unless you make it secure, you will be allowing neighbouring households access to your broadband connection and data. This article will help you to take the steps to increase the security of your home or small business network.

A few simple steps are necessary to help protect your network from unwanted access:

You can use your wireless router as a wired router and disable it’s wireless abilities. Simply connect a cable from your router to the device you wish to use.

Make sure your security features on your router (wireless/modem) are switched on. There are switched off by default at lot of the time.

Setup a personal name for your network (SSID), it allows you to easily find your network if there are a lot of wireless devices nearby.

Use encryption (WPA/WPA2/WEP) to secure your network. Only use WEP if you do not have WPA/WPA2.

Where possible you must also set up encryption on each wireless adapter you are using to connect to devices on your network.

Use parental controls where children are allowed access to the network.

For increased security all connecting devices should have Firewall, Antivirus, AdWare, SpyWare and MalWare detection and removal software installed.

If these simple steps are followed you will be on your way to a secure network and avoid any unauthorised use of your wireless device(s). If your personal data is important to you then make sure you use this advice.

Want more information?

The Task Facing Nepal’s Trekking Tourism Industry in Light of Global Warming and Political Inertia

On Sunday 27th of February 2011 the annual meeting of the American Association for the Advancement of Science will be discussing the ‘Integrated Assessment of Black Carbon and Tropospheric Ozone Summary for Decision Makers’ published by the UNEP and the World Meteorological Society recently. The report which is available online highlights the effect of Black Carbon and methane on global warming-climate change. Not much attention has been paid to Black Carbon (BC) and its effect but as the report explains:

“Black carbon’s darkening of snow and ice surfaces increases their absorption of sunlight, which, along with atmospheric heating, exacerbates melting of snow and ice around the world, including in the Arctic, the Himalayas and other glaciated and snow-covered regions. This affects the water cycle and increases risks of flooding.”

This is no surprise to the inhabitants of the areas most affected by flooding namely Bangladesh, which suffered severe flooding in 2007, Nepal which suffered a similar fate in 2008 and Pakistan most recently in 2010. So what do countries like Nepal do when disaster strikes without warning and how do they plan for the future? In Nepal’s case, where no stable government existed at the time of the last flood, long term planning was difficult.

Nepal’s Year of Tourism 2011 was meant to bring over 1,000,000 tourists to Nepal to help inject some badly needed cash into this post civil war land locked Himalayan Country. The bread basket of Nepal the Terai was literally washed into northern India with its nutrient rich topsoil gone, the Terai resembled a desert. This year as we start the spring trekking the season storms came and went with reports from the mountains claiming heavier than expected snow fall and the prospect of very fine weather for trekking.

For the average Nepali who is now suffering 14 hr of power cuts a day, increases in fuel and gas costs, food price inflation and crop failure in some areas some change needs to come. Nepal is rich in natural resources and relies mainly on hydro power for its electricity supply. As it’s not raining now the poor people of Nepal are suffering ever increasing power cuts. Power is sometime only on for 2 or 3 hours during the working day, meaning only the rich can have access to a constant supply of energy which they store up using inverters and batteries over night when the power is on, giving them an uninterrupted supply the next day.

This is one of the main topics of discussion in Nepal. Do we build more hydro electric dams or build coal or gas powered electricity generating plants. The new PM has openly discussed the hypocrisy of the west’s policy of carbon credit allocation to developing countries. If Nepal invests money in CO2 emitting coal or gas plants it will get credits from the west but if they go for the more practical and cost effective hydro electric option no credits will be forthcoming.

As an environment observer and trekker I have been shocked with the lack of concern shown in political circles to the biggest problems effecting Nepal, namely its economically important tourist industry which supports communities across the country and the thinning of the Himalayan Glaciers that provide Nepal and South Asia with water and energy.

In the west there has been too much talk of helping developed countries combat climate change but no real action has materialized. The IPCC although well meaning seems to be a talking shop and while there is still vigorous debate in the west as to what is causing the glaciers to thin, there is no doubt that it is happening. The only debate is why?

“The projected rise in global temperatures could be cut in half in coming years if world governments focused on reducing emissions of two harmful pollutants – black carbon and ground-level ozone, including methane – rather than carbon dioxide alone, according to a U.N. study released Wednesday.”
Washington Post 23rd February 2011

Nepal is sandwiched between China to the north and India to the south, east and west, with a combined population of 3 billion people and countless methane producing animals, could Nepal’s glaciers be the victim of Chinese and Indian pollution?

I have been studying the subtle and not so subtle changes in the climate over South Asia for the last 6 years and have come to the conclusion that it caused in part by the effect of Black Carbon emissions from China and India. BC is changing the monsoon rainfall patterns and depositing soot on Nepal’s glaciers. So what is black carbon and how does it affect the glaciers of Nepal?

Black Carbon is uncompensated carbon emitted from the burning of fossil fuel and biomass. Across China and India every day millions of fires are lit with cow dung, charcoal or wood, power plants pump huge plumes of BC into the atmosphere to drive these 2 developing giants with cars, trucks and buses adding to this soup of pollution we call smog.

Unlike CO2, BC only remains in the atmosphere for a short period of about 15-40 days. In this short space of time it can have a dramatic effect on the weather and cloud formation. These small pieces of soot mimic the role played by sea salt, dust and pollen in cloud formation bonding with water vapor in smaller than normal clusters. As these clouds are unnatural they alter the normal formation of clouds and can bring huge downpours of rain to areas when the BC clouds and naturally forming clouds combine forces. Similarly the BC clouds can move naturally forming clouds from areas that normally expect rain and cause drought.

To add this problem, when the water finally falls to the ground as rain or snow it has another devastating effect. Like the Artic which reflects most of the suns energy back to into the atmosphere the glaciers remain in place because they do not absorb that much heat being white but when they are darkened by BC they absorb more heat and more melting occurs.

Its time for the west to start realizing that we live in a world that is heating and cooling at the same time and to put in place some sort of international plan to address the causes of these dramatic climatic changes. While on a trek to the Annapurna Circuit last year we could clearly see layers of black carbon deposited on the glaciers near Tilicho Lake.

Do we have to wait until a major disaster strikes again before we act? BC because of its short life span is the easiest of the climate change contributors to stop. Western decision makers needs to cop on that with a fraction of the money we paid to bail out those greedy bankers in Europe and America we could have solved world poverty and help stabilize the climate.

I hope that the American Association for the Advancement of Science will listen to the Integrated Assessment of Black Carbon and Tropospheric Ozone Summary for Decision Makers and pass on that information to our ill-informed political elites in the west.

Cap and Trade

“A central authority (usually a governmental body) sets a limit or cap on the amount of a pollutant that can be emitted. The limit or cap is allocated or sold to firms in the form of emissions permits which represent the right to emit or discharge a specific volume of the specified pollutant. Firms are required to hold a number of permits (or carbon credits) equivalent to their emissions.

The total number of permits cannot exceed the cap, limiting total emissions to that level. Firms that need to increase their emission permits must buy permits from those who require fewer permits.[1] The transfer of permits is referred to as a trade. In effect, the buyer is paying a charge for polluting, while the seller is being rewarded for having reduced emissions. Thus, in theory, those who can reduce emissions most cheaply will do so, achieving the pollution reduction at the lowest cost to society.”
Definition taken from Emissions trading From Wikipedia.

The problem for Nepal is that they don’t have many polluting industries here yet. Should they start building polluting industries in order to gain from these trades or should Cap and Trade be modified to include a trade for countries that as yet don’t contribute to climate change but suffer from its effects the most. Please let’s not wait until it’s too late.

Wildcard SSL Certificates: Why Are They Important?

Many business persons are not familiar with SSL certificates. Sure, they have heard of them: however, they truly are not sure what it is the certificate can do for them. First off, the SSL, by (technical) definition provides a layer of protection between browser and server. What does this mean? It simply means that the site where information is coming is identified; and if the source is deemed reliable, information is exchanged in a secure manner.

Further SSL stands for secure socket layer. The true name certainly provides a vision to the on-line business entrepreneur that information is transferred with a high measure of security. That said, SSL are provided in the way of varying levels of security; and the higher the number, naturally, the greater the level of protection.

However, our article is about the wildcard SSL certificate. In order to understand how you may use a wildcard SSL may require you understand the other different SSL certificates offered. Dedicated SSLs are generally associated with sites with unique domain names. The dedicated SSL certificate will prove the most expensive. Secondly there are shared SSLs where webmasters of different sites share the same SSL. The certificate will show the name of the person who purchased the certificate. You can attain an SSL shared certificate from the hosting company associated with hosting your e-commerce site(s).

This brings us to the wildcard SSL certificate. The wildcard certificate is used on a site with many sub-domains. Using this type of certificate assures data is identified and exchanged securely between the browser and the server without any worries of the wrong person attaining such data. This can be very useful in that cyber crimes can easily shut down your business in a hurry. It conclusively goes without saying, regardless of your business; you need an SSL certificate in order to operate successfully and securely over the net.

The security feature, without going into a great deal of technical jargon, operates in such a way where data is securely encrypted. This feature allows for exchange of data without the worry of prying eyes. The usefulness of an SSL certificate cannot be under-rated. With the advancement of other security-protection measures, such as (more reliable) firewalls, an SSL certificate is just as essential in conducting virtual business. In other words, you need to keep your on-line business just as secure as you would any brick and mortar business in order to continue operation. Look to your hosting company for these wildcard certificates.

Jamie is a avid ecommerce consultant who trys to promote the correct ways to manage business website management. Jamie recommends online security and in particular, wildcard ssl certificate products, such as RapidSSL, VeriSign SSL, as well as EV SSL for web servers.

The Top 3 Most Acclaimed New York City Hotels

The most wonderful New York city hotels to find really aren’t too difficult to locate. Have you been in New York city but just couldn’t locate the most beneficial hotel to suit your needs? This doesn’t have to be a “needle in a haystack” type of experience. Instead, this experience should be as simple as searching through your DVR for your most recently saved listing. Today is the day when simplicity is put on the table for knowing which three hotels provide the best of the best experience for you, your family, and even your colleagues.

#1. New York City’s own Mandarin Oriental

When you’re looking for luxury, originality, and a comfortablenes level unlike any other, the Mandarin Oriental is a wonderful choice. The unique features this wonderful hotel provides include a number of unique activities and options. When you rent a room at the Mandarin Oriental you’ll be provided with a wonderful bathing attire to fit you just perfectly after a busy day. The down comforter available on every bed located at the Mandarin Oriental will hug your bodies curves and make you feel as though you were the only one to step foot in that bed. The rooms available will be a fresh of breath air with an at home feel.

The features that come with renting a room from the Mandarin Oriental don’t stop in the room. The Mandarin provides a unique spa that is actually based on Asian techniques and ideas. The baths throughout the spa are bathed in soft water which is scented with jasmine and rose. The readily available Yoga studio offers Thai instructions for both beginners and experts that will have you feeling serenity and nirvana in a matter of no time. Unlike many New York City hotels, The Mandarin Oriental offers its guests with the most advanced features for your enjoyment.

#2. Omni Berkshire Place Hotel

The top quality luxury accommodations are quite hard to find, especially when it comes to all the amazing features that the Omni Berkshire Place hotel provides. First, this hotel is located right smack dab in the middle of New York City. This provides any visitor with the wonderful advantage to being closer to your “home away from home.” This extravagant hotel is located very close to many time consuming getaways that include the Rockefeller Center, Times Square, Central Park, and even St. Patrick’s Cathedral.

The Amenities you’ll receive when staying at the Omni Berkshire are almost endless. The lobbies are filled with some of the most highly recommended fireside restaurants. The room service that is available will help you figure out that this hotel could be an every vacation stay! Available right in the lobby is a wonderful massage and beauty center that will have you looking and feeling your best. The Omni Bershire place hotel is just one of those New York City hotels that you can’t miss.

#3. The Edison Hotel, New York City

The Edison Hotel has a rich history that began its start in 1931. This artistically extravagant hotel was built with a beauty unlike any other. Staying at the Edison Hotel will provide luxury and an at home feel within the New York City limits. Both the outside and inside of this top rated hotel will have a jaw dropping experience as well as a first in line attitude.

The Edison Hotel provides many features that would give this hotel the number three spot. The valet parking is both a convenient and wonderful aspect. When you watch your vehicle stroll off with new hands, you know it will be taken care of. The Edison ballroom is another feature that many couples and soon to be couples can enjoy throughout the night. The concierge services will put a smile on many guests’ faces as well. This is just number three of many wonderful New York City hotels available for you and your vacation of a lifetime.

How to Help Middle School Students Develop College-Ready Research Skills

The goal of middle level educators is to get — and keep — students on a college track. So, why allow them to develop habits, including research habits, that do not serve the college readiness goal?

There is a clear trend among professors of American colleges to strictly limit the use of Wikipedia among students. Professors at numerous colleges including Penn State, UC Santa Cruz, UC Santa Barbara, and the list is growing, enforce a “Look But Don’t Cite” Wikipedia policy. Middlebury College in Vermont, has banned Wikipedia altogether. For a variety of reasons, many of which are supported by Wikipedia itself, Wikipedia is not considered a citable source for a college paper.

Wikipedia is often the first stop for middle grades student researchers. Unfortunately, for many, it is also the last stop. While Wikipedia is an excellent place for jump-starting research, or for checking basic facts, it is, at best, a tertiary source. When middle and high school, students are permitted to cite Wikipedia they develop a habit or practice that does not serve the college readiness goal.

In the interest of college readiness, follow a “Look But Don’t Cite” Wikipedia policy mirroring what will be expected of students in college. Ironically, one of the chief complaints among college students who’d had their Wikipedia rights curtailed was “a lack of other sources.” To help students adjust to this policy, enlist the help of your school librarian to educate students about other cite worthy sources. What are they? Where and how can they be found? Your librarian can help them to understand that sources are everywhere! Books, magazine and newspaper articles, diaries, journals, memoirs, photographs, images, maps, letters, speeches, government documents, recordings, and interviews.

Don’t let your students develop research habits that do not serve their college goal!

How and Why Do Affairs Happen?

I often get correspondence from people who are struggling to understand how and why their spouse had an affair. I’ll often hear things like: “I just can not understand how my typically conservative husband could have carried on with someone who he wouldn’t have typically noticed. How in the world could this have happened?” Or, “my husband has always been a family man and someone who played by the rules. He’s never engaged in risky behavior before. What in the world would cause him to do this?” One more example is: “I never thought that I would have one of those marriages that struggles with infidelity. I know that my husband loves me. I know that my marriage was a good one. So, why are we in this situation? I just don’t understand how this affair could have happened to us.”

I understand all of these questions as I had them myself. I don’t pretend to be an expert, but I can share with you what I’ve learned through experience and through research. In the following article, I’ll give you my take on why affairs happen – and why they can happen even to good spouses and to good, happy marriages.

People Rarely Intend To Have An Affair: Often, in talking with the faithful spouse, it becomes relatively obvious to me that the the faithful spouse thinks that the cheating spouse saw the affair coming from a mile away and did nothing to stop it. Or, they’ll think that their spouse set up the behaviors and actions that lead to the affair. They often think that their spouse was the pursuer while the “other woman” or “other man” was the innocent party.

This isn’t always the case. In fact, many cheating spouses have told me that the fact that they had an affair surprised them every bit as much as it surprised their spouse. I often hear things like: “I never thought I would cheat on my spouse and I certainly didn’t intend to. I did not plan this. I did not wake up that morning and say ‘hey, I think I’ll ruin my married life today.’ I wish I could take all this back and could make my spouse understand that this certainly wasn’t premeditated.”

In fact, many affairs happen in a time of crisis. Sometimes there is a job loss. Sometimes there is a sick child. Sometimes, the cheating spouse is mourning the loss of their youth or their strength. Sometimes the marriage is struggling. And, sometimes, everything is fine and the affair seemingly comes out of the blue. (This usually happens when the cheating spouse has been greatly suppressing their feelings or problems.) Whatever the reason, the cheating often takes both parties by surprise even if it was a gradual thing that built up over time and most certainly should have been obvious.

An Affair Usually Starts Out Innocently Enough: Many affairs happen at work or at school. Usually, your spouse has to work closely with someone and a working relationship is formed. It’s not even unusual for the other person to be someone that you’ve known very well and have even liked or loved. And usually, your spouse isn’t on their guard because, at least at first, the relationship is completely innocent and appropriate.

But, at some point, something usually happens that brings the two of them closer together. A crises might happen at work so that they have to pull together or save the day. Your spouse might be helping the other person “work through” issues of their own. The point is, typically everything is going along fine and appropriately until, at some point, something has a profound change on their relationship that causes them to become closer or more invested.

I know what you might be thinking (because I had the same thought process.) I’ll bet you’re thinking something like: “well at that point my spouse should have seen the relationship changing and should have pulled back and put a stop to it.” You’re right. They should have. But often, they will try to downplay what is happening and will tell themselves that they have this completely under control and that it’s all innocent. This usually goes on until it becomes obvious that they were wrong.

Crossing The Line: The Beginning Of The Affair: As I said, few people set out to have an affair. Many times, they are surprised and overwhelmed when it actually happens. Even when it’s obvious where things are going, most cheating spouses insist that they didn’t see it coming or they didn’t mean for it to happen.

And usually, their crossing that line is an impulsive act by one of the parties. I often hear it described something like this: “It happened so fast. It was over very quickly and by then my mind was just racing. I wasn’t thinking clearly and afterward, on the way home, I was shaking because I could not believe what I had done. I had a hard time acting normally in front of my spouse.”

Many faithful spouses will interrupt my explanations (which I completely understand) and will say things like: “Well, it really should have only happened one time. At that point, he should have cut off contact with her rather than continuing on.” Yes, he should have. And often, he will tell himself that he is going to. In fact, sometimes the second encounter happens when he thinks (at least in his own mind) that he’s going to tell her it was a mistake and is going to attempt to break it off. And yet, somehow he finds himself continuing on.

Obviously, I can’t see inside the mind and heart of your spouse. But, many people in this situation tell me that they were so confused and mixed up. They will often also say that the other person pressured them. And, many will tell me that the affair provided some sort of pay off whether it was the release of stress or the confirmation that someone wanted and understood them. Of course, as someone who has been cheated on, this can be hard to hear. You have to resist the urge to say things like “well you are an adult who had a choice not to give in to impulses.” But really, this doesn’t do any good.

It is important to understand why and how the affair happened. This knowledge is important because it shows you where you might recover and make some changes. But, you might never understand the small nuances or thought processes of someone else. And usually, you will have better results if you focus more on the outcome and the healing than on the things that you might not fully understand because you yourself would’ve acted much differently, although you must certainly deserve some answers

I was the cheated on, not the cheater in my relationship. So, I know exactly how the “cheated on” spouse feels. But, I also know that healing and moving on is possible. Although I never would’ve believed this two years ago, my marriage is stronger than ever after my husband’s affair. It took a lot of work, but it was worth it. Because of all the work I did on myself, my self esteem is at an all time high. I no longer worry my husband will cheat again.